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the only DB Cooper theories i accept:
- he died cuz he was an idiot who jumped out of a fucking plane during a rain storm in the middle of the night
- it’s tommy wiseau
-
there’s no proof he hit the ground so he could still fall on us at any time
if i could have any superpower it would be to have my teeth be brushed without having to move or even think about it. just every morning and night like clockwork, it’s already done for me.
Another W for shapeshifting gang. I would simply shapeshift into a version of myself with brushed teeth.
ppl are always like oh if i went back in time i would teach them all about electricity. well, i don’t know about electricity. i don’t know how to build a michaelwave. i would be the stupidest motherfucker in the 16th century. i wouldn’t know who the king is. i don’t know how to use a tinderbox. i can’t ride a horse. the only good thing about me is my immunity to super mega smallpox
Yiu to are not smallpox immune a.
can you guys just give me a break. i just found out i’m not immune to smallpox









