This is next level

if i could have any superpower it would be to have my teeth be brushed without having to move or even think about it. just every morning and night like clockwork, it’s already done for me.

ppl are always like oh if i went back in time i would teach them all about electricity. well, i don’t know about electricity. i don’t know how to build a michaelwave. i would be the stupidest motherfucker in the 16th century. i wouldn’t know who the king is. i don’t know how to use a tinderbox. i can’t ride a horse. the only good thing about me is my immunity to super mega smallpox

hell yeah you funky little non-binary bear 💛

The thing that gets me most about the original down with cis bus post that nobody ever talks about that makes me mad is that the narrator sounds so fucking detached. If a bus pulled up to me and my friend and ANY group of people just stormed out and beat us bloody until I used epic kung fu to stop all of them and rushed my friend to the hospital I would narrate it like an epic about how awesome I am, speak gravely of the horrors I saw, and maybe crytype a bit but this guy just goes “This happened. I was there.” And then gives the most A to B narration I’ve ever seen. They made such an over the top excuse to hate trans people and then sold it in the most uninterested way I’ve ever seen.

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence of an online polyamorous white genxer from the Pacific Northwest who just got a new crystal necklace and is using it as an excuse to post a tit pic to a chorus of praise from excitable bearded pagans & bisexual barnes and noble employees who do burlesque