good morning! breakfast is ready. how do you like your coffee?
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if i could have any superpower it would be to have my teeth be brushed without having to move or even think about it. just every morning and night like clockwork, it’s already done for me.
Another W for shapeshifting gang. I would simply shapeshift into a version of myself with brushed teeth.
ppl are always like oh if i went back in time i would teach them all about electricity. well, i don’t know about electricity. i don’t know how to build a michaelwave. i would be the stupidest motherfucker in the 16th century. i wouldn’t know who the king is. i don’t know how to use a tinderbox. i can’t ride a horse. the only good thing about me is my immunity to super mega smallpox
what i have learned from the tags
Yiu to are not smallpox immune a.
can you guys just give me a break. i just found out i’m not immune to smallpox
hell yeah you funky little non-binary bear 💛
Gatekeep Geschlecht Girlboss
gatekeep geschlecht [redacted]boss
gatekeep geschlecht grizzly
The thing that gets me most about the original down with cis bus post that nobody ever talks about that makes me mad is that the narrator sounds so fucking detached. If a bus pulled up to me and my friend and ANY group of people just stormed out and beat us bloody until I used epic kung fu to stop all of them and rushed my friend to the hospital I would narrate it like an epic about how awesome I am, speak gravely of the horrors I saw, and maybe crytype a bit but this guy just goes “This happened. I was there.” And then gives the most A to B narration I’ve ever seen. They made such an over the top excuse to hate trans people and then sold it in the most uninterested way I’ve ever seen.
Anonymous asked:
What media should children be watching
beesmygod answered:
they should have 10 vhs tapes they watch over and over again
i mean this with all the kindness in my heart, but some of the answers to this post have created the most vivid paintings of the scariest people i could ever conceptualize. anyone who was forced to watch “barnyard” (2006) repeatedly has been forged in flames for purposes i can’t even imagine. someone said they watched “megamind” and “bee movie” every day, which to me is like saying your daily routine included hitting yourself with a hammer for 2 hours for no reason. you must have illness and disorders the likes of which we‘ve never seen. the most normal person, imo, is this guy:
Sometimes I wish I had the confidence of an online polyamorous white genxer from the Pacific Northwest who just got a new crystal necklace and is using it as an excuse to post a tit pic to a chorus of praise from excitable bearded pagans & bisexual barnes and noble employees who do burlesque
I love reading this each time I see it it’s like the golden ratio of words